24.7

Warning: whining and over-simplification ahead.

Why is it that submissives invariably need regular…proof or confirmation that they are in fact in a D/s relationship? Why don’t dominants need this?

I have a working hypothesis. You know how vanilla men tend to want to have sex more than women? An ex told me that men will never turn down an offer of sex, because they never know when they’ll get it again. He contrasted this with women, who generally KNOW they can get sex whenever they want, so they can say “no” more comfortably.

Similarly, Richard knows that he’s The Boss. He knows that he can do whatever he wants with me, whenever he wants. I, on the other hand, have no idea when the next spanking or fucking is coming. (Remember, I said I was going to over-simplify.)

I’ve been having a problem with migraines since Christmas, and we’ve had a bunch of visitors. That means there is less time and privacy for play.  Plus Richard is feeling very protective of me, so he’s (relatively speaking) been gentle with me when we make love.

I have been very focused on:  working a lot whenever I don’t have a headache, and making sure our visitors are happy, amused, well-fed and well-bedded.  This means a whole lot of organizing.  Organizing is something I’m good at, but the downside is that when I’m doing a lot of it I feel like I’m in charge, like I’m in control.

Like I’m The Boss. 

Normally, when we have more time alone and more time to play, Richard keeps my inner Boss in check.  I’m happier when he does, because I don’t WANT to be the one in control.  When I’m in control, I worry a lot and never stop thinking.  I’m anxious.  I spent most of my life that way, like I said I’m good at it, and it’s really really really nice not to be that way anymore.  I am still the main planner and organizer in our relationship, and I’m a Boss-person at work.  But (when we’re playing regularly) even when I’m planning and organizing things, I know it’s for my Daddy, so it doesn’t stress me out as much.  

These days I’m feeling a leetle bit like I’m in a vanilla relationship, with the occasional rough sex. Megan and I have talked about this issue over the last couple of days.  (Gosh, it’s awesome having her here, I will post more about that later, and she may write a guest post.)  She’s dealt with the same issue in the past, and we agreed that there is no way that we would start acting like a brat to get the negative attention that would help us focus again.  We’re both too proud to precipitate a punishment, because that feels manipulative to us. 

I talked to Richard about this too (of course).  It bothers me a lot that I can’t just get my head back into D/s space on my own, like Richard seems to be able to do.  I told him that I don’t know what to do when this happens.  

He said “All you need to do is tell your Daddy.  I can help you.  You think you own your ass?  *I* own that ass, and I can spank it, and fuck it, and play with it any way I want. Let me know if you need me to do that.”

No, we didn’t DO it. We watched “2 Girls 1 Cup”. That is SO not my kink. In fact, I only watched about 20 seconds of it before I started gagging so badly that I was worried I would throw up on my laptop. I turned it off a few seconds later. Richard wouldn’t watch it at all - he said he knew what it was about and he had no interest in seeing it. Hmph. Spoilsport.

Megan is here, which is so unbelievably wonderful I can’t even tell you. She got in late late on Valentine’s Day, and the next day Richard’s kids all got here for the week. We have a HOUSEFUL of kids, dogs, the parrot, and Megan and her cat. What a menagerie! I’m blissed out - we’ve got beds everywhere and I have so many people to cook for and coddle.

I thought before I told you about Megan’s visit (which will be longterm), I would tell you about our early Valentine’s Day on February 13. We watched Secretary. It’s a movie about a lawyer and his secretary, who discover that they are D/s and S/m. I have some issues with the underlying premise that you have to be messed up to want to have this kind of relationship (the movie starts with her leaving a mental institution), but I loved the way they eventually end up in a loving, monogamous, longterm relationship. Yummy.

And just like the clip of it we saw before, the full movie made me very squirmy. (BTW, I just wanted to say that Richard’s post about me asking to masturbate really embarrassed me; I guess because I was obviously wanting it more than him. He also didn’t mention that he told me he was going to play with my breasts rougher and rougher until I came, which scared me into an almost instantaneous orgasm. Bad man.)

After the movie ended, we wandered up to bed. I snuggled up against Richard, expecting that we would just go to sleep. It was late, I had to work in the morning and we had lots of company coming over the next two days.

My head was on his shoulder, and he reached up and began to rub my neck. I purred and stretched a bit. Then his grip tightened, and he pushed me down. I wasn’t sure what was happening - I thought maybe he wanted to rub my back (I get glorious backrubs all the time.) But he kept pushing, until my face was at his cock. His very hard cock. I guess he enjoyed the movie too…

He shoved my mouth down onto his cock and held it there, then he started playing with my breasts. Oh god, that made me squirm and moan, but he didn’t release his grip on my neck.

His cock was getting bigger (that constantly amazes me - it starts out big, then your mouth is on it - and it gets BIGGER) and pushing against the back of my throat. He wouldn’t let go and kept playing with my breasts and nipples. Drool was pooling around the base of his cock, because I couldn’t swallow or control it at all.

Suddenly he released my neck, but just long enough to wrap my hair around his wrist, and then he began to pump my head up and down on his cock. The whole time he kept teasing and tormenting my breasts. I was almost out of my mind from lust and lack of control.

He slowed down for a minute, and I couldn’t take it any more. I pulled up and climbed on top of him and slid onto him. oooOOOooo he felt so good in me. Sososo sweet and he grabbed my hips and began fucking me hard and then lifted his hands to my breasts and began playing with them again and really I was just overwhelmed with the sensations.

I was begging and babbling and moaning, and he was fucking me and biting my breasts and my neck and it went on and on…he flipped me over at one point and made me come and then fucked me until he came and then we fell asleep and didn’t even stir until about six in the morning.

For once, I had more bruises than he did - a couple of bite/hickey marks on my neck and shoulders, and marks from his fingers on my upper arms.

Happy belated Valentine’s Day to everyone!

Amy checks out Vegas in the morning (I’m partial to the reflection in the window, btw)

Discovered something a little fun on a recent trip to Vegas.

Amy squeaks.

Now, she normally squeaks when I give her a quick hug, but what I didn’t realize is she couldn’t control it.

Nor did I realize she finds it embarrassing.

So I gave her a quick hug while we were standing in line late one night at a McDonald’s, and she squeaked.

“Bad Daddy,” she whispered. “Don’t do that!”

For fun I did it again, and she squeaked again. Then I gave her a quick squeeze that made her squeak, and then another one right away and she squeaked an octave or two higher.

Awesome.

Then I started squeezing her and making her squeak, then doing quick ones to make her squeak at a higher pitch, and she turned bright red!

So cool.

Who’d have thought something so innocuous could turn into humiliation play?

I’m totally enjoying this.

Omigod omigod omigod omigod! 

Megan is coming!  She is going to be my Valentine’s Day treat!   

*changes all the linens* 

*puts out the bubble bath and candles* 

*stocks up on Scandinavian milk chocolates* 

Omigod omigod omigod omigod. 

(More later.  I promise.  And it will be good.) 

I think that’s the quote, from the Holy Grail. We had our own take on it, last night.

A quiet day, relatively uneventful. Turned the TV on to see if we could get the Superbowl, but apparently not. Haven’t watched television in a year - only Netflix movies.

So Amy and I checked out some blogs online, and found this video:

It’s about the top ten modern spanking clips, or some such. All pretty tame stuff, although I liked the final clip from “The Secretary.” We’ve added THAT movie to our Netflix queue.

So we are off to bed, and I’m running a slight fever, just enough to make me uncomfortable, but Amy and I settle down quietly.

Then I hear,” I have to ask you something.”

OK.

“May I masturbate?”

What? Working all day, a quiet evening, and now suddenly she wants to masturbate?

This could be fun.

But why?

“I was squirmy all day,” she explains, “and that last video made me real squirmy.”

I tease her about being a slut, and she tries to back out of it, but I make her masturbate anyway. Of course, I can’t just watch - sure sometimes, but not tonght. She’s just too sexy. Halfway through, I get impatient waiting for her and I make her stop so I can fuck her for a while, then I make her masturbate some more. This time I let her cum, then I take her myself and finish in her.

I wasn’t really intersted in sex this evening; too tired and not feeling good.

But making Amy masturbate…

Well, what can I say? It’s hot.

And I had such fun taunting her.

Funny how when you think you aren’t the least bit interested, desire suddenly just charges up out of nowhere and inspires the most marvelous bit of play - so nice of her to ask permission to masturbate - it made the whole evening so much more memorable!

Good girl.

This is an outtake, but it’s very much like Amy with the sexy clothes, and then those big warm fuzzy socks.  Typically, she’d be nude with the fuzzy socks, or maybe wearing her Uggs and nothing else.

Of course, I didn’t know that for sure when I shot this pic, but I had an inkling.

This is from the first time we met, a year ago today.

I thought a picture from that weekend might be appropriate, and bring back a few memories. (Hah!  Like I could ever forget the fun we had THAT weekend!) I had already fallen for her, that weekend just made it all real.  The first touch, the first kiss.

The first all-nighter….

And then the second…

Anyway…

Happy anniversary little baby girl!

I love you lots!

Your Daddy

I’m walking funny today, and I’m yawning a lot.  I didn’t get much sleep last night.   

Richard has been out shooting photographs the last couple of days, so I haven’t seen much of him during the day.  That seems to make him more aggressive when we’re together.  I also just remembered he says that he gets more aggressive when he is taking a lot of photographs - it feels like hunting at some level to him.  Honestly, what doesn’t make Richard aggressive? 

And then last night we watched “Some Like It Hot”, with Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis & Jack Lemmon.  I guess I really didn’t need to mention the latter two, since they aren’t really relevant to this story, being male and in drag throughout the movie…  Boy, she was gorgeous.  Believe it or not, I don’t remember ever having seen her in a film before.  Stills don’t do her justice, it’s the way she moves and the way she flirts with the camera that is so out of the ordinary.

 

Anyway, watching that movie probably didn’t make Richard any less aggressive. I got up after it was over to go to the bathroom (with permission, of course) and when I came back my clothes had fallen off. (When I’m at home and go to the bathroom, my clothes often fall off of their own accord. I don’t even realize it, but when I’m sitting on the toilet I often kick off my jeans and panties, then pull off my shirt and unsnap my bra. I walk out of the bathroom, leaving my clothes in a heap behind me. That’s when Richard says “Oh look! Your clothes have fallen off again!”)

I walked back to the couch and started to sit down but Richard grabbed my hips and swiveled me around and buried his face in my breasts. He nuzzled and sucked and nibbled my breasts until my knees started going out from under me. He pulled me down next to him and said “God, you’re gorgeous” and then played with me some more.

When we finally made it to the bedroom (try making it up the stairs in front of a turned-on dominant male) he shoved me onto the bed and played with me and fucked me until we were both exhausted. We fell asleep all tangled together. I could have slept that way all night.

But I didn’t. I was woken at least twice, as well as I can remember, to being fucked hard as my breasts were roughly sucked and chewed. This morning my hair was in knots, I was sticky all over, and my breasts and thighs and pussy ached.

Tonight we’re watching “Like Water for Chocolate”. For my pussy’s sake, I’m hoping it’s not as sexy as last night’s movie.