What’s been happening
Hi everybody! Long time no write. I looked back, and my last post was in November! Shocking!
The reason we haven’t been posting is because I was sick for most of December (not dangerously sick, just too sick to be able to read or write or move around much). I’ve read that it is common for people to get sick after a stressful period, once the adrenalin wears off, and that has certainly been a pattern for me. September through November were very busy and stressful at work and the minute things slowed down BOOM! I was sick for almost four weeks. I got well just in time to pick up the pace again lol.
One interesting thing that came out of this time is that I noticed that being Richard’s little girl is becoming…natural? routine? de-sexualized? I’m not sure how to explain it, but even when I was too sick to feel remotely sexy I still felt like a little girl.
Part of that, I’m sure, was because he was taking care of me and pampering me more than I ever remember being cared for or pampered in my LIFE. And I was very weak and dependent on him, although I know in the past no matter how weak I felt, I would have been quite independent and been taking care of myself and trying to do more. Instead I just laid on the couch and was fed and coddled and jollied (BOY it’s discouraging and depressing to lie around for that long!) until it was time to go to bed and be cuddled and snuggled and loved until I fell asleep.
I had kind of thought that maybe I would be less likely to feel submissive, if we were playing less and having sex less. But that didn’t happen. It’s become natural to always call Richard Daddy unless we are around other people, in which case I try not to call him by name, since it feels disrespectful to say eg “Richard, are you ready for dinner?”. I instictively respond to his requests or questions with “yes sir” or “no sir”. I wouldn’t think of leaving the room or using the bathroom or changing what I’m doing without asking his permission.
Richard says that I have, however, become more sassy. He thinks it’s because he hasn’t wanted to punish me, so I haven’t had any consequences for sassy behavior. I can see his point. I think I’m naturally pretty lippy and the only thing that keeps that at a low level is recent experience with a spanking and the knowledge that he is quite happy to administer another given any reason at all. Or no reason at all, come to think of it.
Yesterday we were in the grocery checkout line. Richard had his arm around me and I was happily nuzzling his neck and chattering away at him. He turned around to watch the cashier for a moment and I tried to nibble on his shoulder. But he had on a heavy sweatshirt so I couldn’t reach his skin. So what did I do? I PINCHED him.
He turned and said “That was too much. Put your hands on the counter, young lady.” Omigosh. I was horrified. We were packed in with lots of people and I didn’t know if they heard him or were watching us. I couldn’t believe he would punish me in such a public place. Plus I didn’t find out until later how hard I had pinched him, so I hadn’t expected him to be angry.
But. While all of this was running through my head, my hands were already on the counter. It was as if my body automatically obeyed him. I had my head tucked way down, because I didn’t want to see anyone. Richard said that I had turned bright pink.
He laughed and smacked me solidly on one cheek and said “What a bad little girl you were!”
I was sure everyone in the store could hear him. Then he gave me a quick hug. Until he finished paying for the groceries I leaned against him with my face hidden in his sleeve. He laughed again as he wheeled the cart out, with me pushed up close against him the whole way to the car.
I was so mortified, both that people may have seen me being scolded and punished, and that I had pinched my Daddy hard enough to hurt him. I drove home completely shame-faced and also feeling more submissive than I have in a long time. All I wanted to do is snuggle up inside my Daddy’s arms and hide for a while.
Later Richard told me that he was surprised and pleased by how quickly I obeyed him, in spite of how much he knew I hated to feel exposed in public. He said that meant a lot to him and that he was very proud of me. It was nice to hear that he felt proud of me, instead of just disappointed in me for being so rude.
PS It feels wonderful to be back and to be writing again. I’m hoping we are going to have a photo-shoot this weekend, so stay tuned for some new pics.
PSS Having trouble with formatting, so I apologize if this is hard to read. I’ll keep trying to fix it.
Wonderful entry, I am jealous because I want to feel THAT obedient without thinking all the time. I think Richard’s dominance is inspiring to any Dom having second-thoughts about how they deal with their own submissives. To do that in public?? Oh my GOD, I would have died just like you did but the rest of me would have “felt” the rightness of his response.
How’s the shaving (or not shaving?) That November post was about you being denied shaving for a picture. Did Richard get the shot he wanted and let you shave? Curious minds want to know! Welcome back, glad to “hear” you again.
Comment by jdsgirl — January 28, 2008 @ 9:02 pm
Glad you’re back
Comment by Rori — January 29, 2008 @ 12:15 am
Glad to see you back. Missed your post’s in December. You and Richard seem to enjoy each other very much. I also live 24/7 in a D/s reltionship and it is great.
Comment by Cafedad — January 29, 2008 @ 11:35 am
Yeah! You’re back. I was about to move you to my inactive list. Glad to hear that you’re feeling better.
Comment by DevilblueDress — January 29, 2008 @ 12:37 pm
So glad you are back and feeling better. It is great to open your blog and find a post again.
Comment by agent — January 29, 2008 @ 2:09 pm
Happy to now hear from both of you and that you are feeling better, Amy. Kudos for having a man who loves you enough to pamper you as well as dominate you.
Comment by Gillette — January 29, 2008 @ 2:24 pm
You’re back, you’re back, you’re back…I’ve posted several times recently about MIA blogs, and your was always one that I missed. So glad to see new posts.
Comment by Swordfish155 — January 29, 2008 @ 2:32 pm
That was a really erotic post and that is so wonderful that you could do that in public. I think I would have to say that your embarrassment was a big turn on…..cool…glad you are feeling better and are back to posting
Comment by bdenied — January 29, 2008 @ 3:52 pm
Welcome back and happy to hear you are feeling better. Daddy’s are wonderful aren’t they? *s*
Comment by essence — January 29, 2008 @ 5:57 pm
Tried to leave a message on Richard’s post as well… but it wasn’t working. I was absolutely not accepting that you were gone gone. I’m sorry to hear that you were so sick, Amy, but how wonderful that you were cared for so well.
What I love best about your blog is the dual voices… I get to read an incredibly intelligent woman writing so damn well about her experiences (I guess I should learn to say it out of basic respect) with her Daddy. And I love to read about how you surprise each other… How nothing is taken for granted. You both express that element so well. You’ve entered into this relationship… there are all sorts of models… but day by day you work out your own, ever-changing, pink-face-making, spanking, loving, pinching, loving… very much your own relationship.
I love to read Richard’s side, with his own surprised moments and his moments of pure satisfaction that he is who he is in your life. For a visual person he is incredibly skilled with words. But then Richard is quite skilled, isn’t he?
Looking forward to new discoveries.
XX
S
PS: I’ve missed you, was worried, and now am happy to see you back. As everyone is.
Comment by sulpiciapast — January 30, 2008 @ 12:03 am
I had just stumble across you guys recently, I love your dynamic and the way both of you communicate. I am glad to see you are better and that new posts will be added.
Comment by Mz. Carmen — January 30, 2008 @ 8:34 am
You have been missed. Welcome back xxx
Comment by Z — January 30, 2008 @ 9:25 pm
Thank you so much for the update, and for your wonderful email. It meant a lot to me, to talk to such an intelligent sub about such topics.
Glad you are feeling much better
Comment by Poppy — January 31, 2008 @ 8:50 am
Well, you took your time!
I have had to read other, inferior blogs while you have been away. I hope you’re happy.
Big smoochies
xxxx
Comment by Luka — January 31, 2008 @ 2:39 pm
I’ve been following your blog for some time now, discovered it about two or three months ago. I love reading it, and I am learning so much about myself through it…I am also a submissive, but I am just now beginning to really explore that side of me deeply…and it has been such a revelation to find your blog and especially your entries, and be able to say, “Yeah…that’s exactly how I feel”…
Thank you so very much for sharing your life with us…
Comment by Lilly — February 1, 2008 @ 12:14 am
Good to have you back. You had us worried for a while.
Comment by Duke Orsino — February 5, 2008 @ 2:32 am