Submitting to reality
I am lying on the couch while Richard plays Blokus with the kids. We just had a lovely dinner - grilled tri-tip, green beans and baked potatoes, and then a carrot cake that I baked on the grill (whee! that was an adventure!).
I have a migraine.
As some of you know, I had an almost constant headache from mid-December to mid-May. Since then, I’ve had a migraine about once every 3 to 4 weeks, and it only lasts a day or so. But this week I’ve been having recurring headaches and migraines, like earlier in the year. I’ve also been moody and sad pretty regularly. I think it’s hormonal. Bah.
Last night I had a little bit of a meltdown, explaining to Richard why I was a lazy, irresponsible, stupid, fat, ugly blah blah blah blah. He pointed out that I’ve been trying to do way too much, given that the kids are home for the summer and I haven’t been feeling well. But I wasn’t having it; I’d been avoiding my work, letting the house get disorganized, and spending too much time on avoidance net-surfing (blech, I think it’s time for an internet ban/rollback). He told me that I needed to stop arguing with reality.
Arguing with reality is one of my biggest weaknesses. In a way, I think I’ve come as far as I have professionally because of this personality trait. Never satisfied, always pushing harder, wanting more. But now I’ve got this great life, great career, great kids, great home, perfectamazingwondermous husband. Now arguing with reality is just a pain in the neck.
I woke up this morning, hurting and exhausted, and my sweet Richard brought me coffee. I snuggled up against him and we talked and drank our coffee. I started feeling better but I was still in a bit of a funk. So I switched between whining and apologizing for whining, and grousing and apologizing for grousing.
Richard laughs and says “No, I want you to whine. Come on, little girl. Whine for me.”
“Dadddddy. Nooo. I don’t want to whine.”
He chortles. “That’s great. Good whining. C’mon. Whine some more.” And he wraps me up in his strong arms and holds me while I squeak “nooo. I don’t want toooo. let me goooo.” My face is buried in his chest so my voice is muffled.
“Good. Now get cranky. Remember I even love the parts of you that you don’t. I want to hear cranky Amy. I love my cranky girl.” He laughs again, while I struggle to free myself. I’m laughing and whining and laughing at my whining and then I suddenly realize that I can feel his cock against me and it’s hard.
As I do, he pulls my hand down to his cock and says “Do something useful while you’re complaining.” So I play with him for a couple of minutes while he continues to tease me, and then he says “Now I’m going to fuck you”.
And he does, and he makes me come while he’s sucking hard on my breasts, and then he fucks me again. After he comes, still inside of me and on top of me, he says “Oh baby girl, that was SO GOOD.”
It was. And it is.
Learning to submit to Richard has made me so happy and content. If only submitting to reality could be as easy.
xoAmy
hey amy, that was a great post! i liked your whining too… sometimes whining and being a little girl can actually be a lot of fun!! humiliating, in a sexy way. i got turned on reading it, imagining myself talking like that to my owners.
i also really enjoy the way that richard supports you without getting drawn into your issue. that is such a mark of a healthy relationship.
Comment by persephone — July 30, 2008 @ 7:50 pm
hormones. definitely hormones. i recognize the mood.
but ooh, being ordered to whine… that is the best! brilliant move, Richard, absolutely brilliant. i’ll bet i couldn’t do it without laughing, either. laughing and whining and stamping my feet, and then knowing the philosopher, he would stop my whining with his cock.
and when it was over, was the migraine gone? i think endorphins can be great for migraines…
Comment by oatmeal girl — July 30, 2008 @ 8:15 pm
i LOVED this too!
Comment by mamacrow — July 31, 2008 @ 2:03 am
Great post. i can so relate!
Comment by grace — July 31, 2008 @ 4:02 am
I like the way he handled it. It seemed to work well for both of you. That whole submitting to reality thing? I really don’t think it’s in our nature.
Comment by The Butterfly Temptress — July 31, 2008 @ 5:11 am
Persephone, I’m so glad you liked the post! And I agree that Richard is able to help more by not getting tangled with my problems. Richard pointed out that you had a recent whine that he liked.
oatmeal girl, yes, I think it’s hormones. And Richard is a genius. The migraine went away for a little bit, but it keeps sneaking back, sadly.
Thanks mamacrow & grace - yes, I figured a lot of women could relate to that overwhelmed-but blaming-yourself thingy!
Butterfly Temptress, Richard said something cool when I read him your comment. He said “EVERYBODY has to submit to reality, even Doms. It’s just a question of whether you go kicking and screaming, or you go gracefully. Either way, reality wins.” lol
Comment by Amy — July 31, 2008 @ 11:48 am
Day life and the switch to home life sucks - but its OH so worth it~!
I have applied for a now job executive assistant for the head of the country for my company. I’m SO excited to have the chance to get this job. Sadly though I’ve not heard a thing from anyone (i don’t think i got it but still wishing for the fact that she may be too busy to meet personally with me) I was worried that my daddy would get upset that i would be taking care of someone else during the day though. He simply replied that i would be excellent for this position as i have been groomed to follow instruction to the letter for years. And that working with her and continuing to follow instructions without question would only sharpen my skills for him later on.
My biggest worry…… she will be more demanding of my time that i already have precious little of……
But i god love the idea of making sure her coffee is out on the desk every morning the way she loves it when she walks into work in the morning!
Comment by Juli — July 31, 2008 @ 2:11 pm
Hello
I think it is completely adorable that Richard like sto here you whine. I hope JD likes it when I whine, since I do it a lot too.
Comment by Southern Angel — July 31, 2008 @ 4:52 pm
Submitting to reality — gah… I’ve never been good at that. I honestly wish I had someone who could do just what Richard did. SO green with envy. By the way, I blame you for the stranger-phone-sex. Oh, I’ll have to tell you sometime about the consequences of joining fetlife on your invite! (Insert somewhat happy expletive here.)
Comment by sulpicia — July 31, 2008 @ 8:40 pm
Good luck, Juli!
Southern Angel - rofl
sulpicia - details please if you’re gonna blame me! omg
Comment by Amy — August 1, 2008 @ 8:36 am
Pain makes you pay attention. If you don’t listen, your body has a way of getting you to do what it wants. (Slow down, rest, evaluate your priorities?). Some years ago I had a strange illness/syndrome called Guillian-Barre which caused great pain and paralysis. It came on fast and hard and everything about my regular life stopped, as though I was in an alternate reality. My doctor told me I had to “let go and let God”. Basically submit to the illness. And that’s what I did. Many people told me I had to fight. I did not fight. It was a sublime experience. I thought I would be afraid, but I wasn’t. I knew, with absolute certainty, that I would be fine. And I am. I have never submitted to anything as I submitted to that illness. (I have never thought of it in these terms before.) Maybe my lesson was to learn that it’s ok to submit? What’s your lesson?
Comment by latebloomer — August 1, 2008 @ 9:14 am
Latebloomer, that was a very moving story. I’m going to think about for a while. It’s amazing that you could say that an illness was a “sublime experience”. Have you read anything by Byron Katie? You sound like her! xoAmy
Comment by Amy — August 5, 2008 @ 8:31 am