Pictures and stories from of a real life 24.7 D/s couple. Richard and Amy explore bdsm, daily life, and each other, from both sides of the relationship.

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November 9, 2009

Daddy Says Eat: Dinner with a D/lg couple

Filed under: Daily Life — Amy @ 4:07 pm

We had dinner a couple of weeks ago with another Daddy/little girl couple.  Which was cool, because I’d never met another before.  In fact, I’ve spoken/written with other Daddies and little girls only briefly.  We were at a restaurant and it was really cute to watch them together.  They are still finding their way around a D/s relationship, so I think it was nice for them to see how another Daddy/little girl couple behaves in public.  (Answer: discreetly, but not vanilla.  Let me know if you need more detail. : ))

The Daddy got kind of crabby with his girl, and she responded in a very submissive and concerned way that I recognized right away.  Most of the vanilla women I know, including my previous self and this girl’s previous self, would snap back if her husband snapped at her in public.  I have often seen one unpleasant exchange like this turn into an evening of irritation and hurt feelings on both sides.  It’s amazing how much more quickly bad moods and feelings dissipate if you don’t feel a need to defend yourself.

After he’d snapped at her, and she’d been conciliatory, I could see him processing it.  I know that they both have some concerns about this kind of relationship – he is especially worried about hurting her if he needs to discipline her, and she is worried about letting go of control.  She also has one of the sharpest tongues of anyone I know, so I was impressed with her response, and I got the sense that it made him very happy.  Richard recently mentioned how proud and happy I made him a couple of times early in our relationship and how that made him feel more confident as my Dom/Daddy.  (For those of you who have been reading our blog for a while, one of those times was when I was told to put Megan’s giant buttplug in my mouth ewwwwwwwww.)

I think their kind of Daddy/little girl is pretty much just like our kind of Daddy/little girl.  A lot of Daddy/little girls are into age play, which we are not.  I’ve practiced my Richard “if it’s consensual it’s okay” attitude with that, because my initial response was to be…hmm, I’m not sure what it was.  I guess part of it, as the mother of a young girl, was wanting to be sure that Daddy/little girl not about pedophilia or incest.  My impression is that it is not; the D/lg’s that I have spoken to are very happy being part of an adult and unrelated couple.  Richard would say here (I think; I guess he’ll let us know if I’m wrong) that it wouldn’t even matter if they were, as long as it was still two consenting adults doing it.  But is it pedophilia and incest if it’s only pretend?  *ponders*

The other thing that I had a leetle trouble with at first is being invited to pajama parties or asked what “age” I am (as in: am I 6 years old, or 10 years old, or…?), or talking about crayon colors.  But again, that’s cool if that is what they are into.  It’s just not what I’m into.

So what is Daddy/little girl if it’s not age play?  I can only speak for us.  Obviously.  If you read our very early posts (from when we were at blogspot *spit curse*, but it’s also archived on this site), we were trying out Master/slave.  But we both felt a little uncomfortable with the terms.  It made me feel very disposable and replaceable (why do I keep hearing Richard in my ear today?  “Ooo disposable – hot!”).  It also felt very one-sided, and our relationship didn’t feel at all one-sided to me.  I had never felt so nurtured and cherished and valued.

Why do we need names for what we are to each other?  What about simply Husband and Wife?  Or say that we are in a 24/7 D/s lifestyle relationship, which is probably the most accurate description of what we are?

I dunno.  Richard has always called me “little girl” and “baby girl”, both of which I LOVE.  After a few months together he told me I was to call him “Daddy”.  At first it freaked me out, but now I can’t imagine calling him anything else.  Here’s the weirdest thing of all.  My little sister met and married a wonderful man at the same time that I met and married Richard, and we found out later that we both started calling our husbands “Daddy” at exactly the same time.  And that’s whom we were having dinner with.


  1. wow, amy. that was some final sentence!!!

    i think i would like to hear more about how “discreetly but not vanilla” you behave in public. and of course if there is more to this story i’m certainly intrigued.

    nice to have you guys popping up in my google reader again.


    Comment by persephone — November 9, 2009 @ 6:46 pm

  2. Wowza! What a great post. I have so many questions about the time spent with your sister.

    My thoughts on Daddy/little girl relationships is that it’s not about role playing an adult wanting to have sex with daughter/niece, other young child–whatever. I guess for some, it is like that, but it’s not something that crosses my mind when it comes to the pair of you. Not that you need my validation on it on or anything, LOL.

    What attracts me to the Daddy/little girl is the feeling of protectiveness and being cared for on every level. The actual terms “Daddy”/”little girl” could stem from the fact that, generally, a girls dad is the first man to give her that feeling of protectiveness and feelings of being the most special girl in the whole word.
    It’s a nice feeling, so why not bring that into your adult relationship, right?

    I don’t have a background in psychology nor am I part of a Daddy/little girl relationship *sad pout*, so I may be off base, but those are me initial thoughts.


    Comment by Chantal — November 10, 2009 @ 11:39 am

  3. Hey Amy,

    I echo the sentiment that it’s lovely to see you popping up in my reader again. Yay! This topic is very near and dear to my heart, even though I’ve never been in a long term Daddy/little girl relationship. I know that feeling that you talk about where you get weirded out that perhaps a prediliction for Daddy/little girl play is about pedophilia or incest.

    For me, it has never been about incest (as in, I don’t have any sexual thoughts about my actual family, and I never want to pretend that my “Daddy” is my real dad). And, it’s never been about pedophilia in the sense that I don’t want my Daddy to be “into” real children at all (that would leave me out in the cold at 28). But I *do* want my Daddy to love the little girlishness about me (which is probably a little more age-play than you are into, idk). For example, I’m a pouter and I sometimes need to be talked to like I’m a wayward child (”don’t stomp your foot, young lady! you know where that will get you?”) So even though I am a fully developed woman that could never be mistaken for an actual child, I sometimes act like a child (don’t we all?) and when I do, I want someone to respond to me appropriately.

    Comment by littlegirl — November 10, 2009 @ 12:14 pm

  4. You are correct, I’m good with anything two consenting adults want to roleplay with each other.

    Comment by Richard — November 10, 2009 @ 7:20 pm

  5. Fun and interesting. Nice O’Henry ending, there! ;-)

    I’m pretty much of the same mind that, as long it’s two consenting adults, most anything goes. However, that said, I’m not entirely comfortable with age-play. Not because it smacks of pedophilia, however, but because whenever I see a grown woman acting out as a little girl, I hear my mother’s voice exclaiming, “How asinine!” My mind can know that whatever floats your boat is fine but sometimes mama is just LOUD. (Not having heard her voice in nearly 38 years tho, even a memory sounds good…)

    I can certainly see how a Daddy/lg dynamic could be appealing, however. My flavor of D/s isn’t a 24/7 one but if it were, I think Daddy/lg would fit better than Master/slave, probably for the same reason you had issues with those terms. There’s just a connotation there that isn’t me. Not wrong, just not *me*.

    Anyhow, I enjoyed that. Thanks! -Jz

    Comment by Jz — November 11, 2009 @ 2:06 pm

  6. To each one’s own. If one person enjoys playing with crayons while her mate enjoys smoking a pipe watching over her, who is anyone to say “it is wrong?”

    “Ewww,” maybe but wrong or right? Nah…

    My girl and I say “Eww” about a great deal of other’s kink, but neither of us judges (Ok, maybe a bit). My girl calls me ‘Daddy’ at times and other times Master and other times my name, or even ‘hey you…big guy!” It’s all part n’ parcel of the relationship, and if she feels a certain way at one time to inhabit a younger spirit, how lovely.

    Nice to be able to sit at dinner with the like-minded. Perhaps one of these days we will find a compatible couple and do the same. Finding that couple seems to be difficult, but maybe one day…

    Hope all is well,


    Comment by B — November 14, 2009 @ 8:44 pm

  7. i’m jealous that, not only did you have dinner with another like-minded couple, but that it was family, to boot!! None of my family would be understanding in the least about our relationship if they knew the truth and some might erroneously jump to the conclusion that it puts my children in danger. Such freedom to have one couple that you can be the closest to “yourselves” with.

    Btw, i’m glad to see you both posting again! i began reading your blog this summer and went way back into your archives. i was hoping i hadn’t found it too late - glad to see i wasn’t.


    Comment by possession — November 15, 2009 @ 7:34 pm

  8. Meg, it is great to be back. And I am LOVING your new blog. Luke sounds like a young Richard (is that good or bad? LOL).

    Chantal, you are right as usual. Except that I would say instead of “generally, a girls dad is the first man to give her that feeling of protectiveness and feelings of being the most special girl in the whole word”, that for many women they never got that and this is a way to get it a bit later in life. My father was a pretty typical hands-off dad, leaving most of the parenting to my mother. With Richard, I feel like the center of his world and it is indescribably wonderful.

    Little girl, it is great to see you here. I love your blog - you are such a great writer and so insightful. Will be adding it to our blogroll (along with meg’s new blog) asap. I definitely do the sort of things you talk about - pouting and its consequences etc. When I think of ageplay I guess I think more along the lines of pretending that I actually AM 6 years old.

    Thanks Jz, and I agree re mature women behaving like little girls. It’s something I’ve thought about as we age. Having said that, I don’t think anyone other than Richard would see me as “girly” and he’s made the point that when we are in bed…he DEFINITELY sees me as a woman.

    Agreed B, and hope things are continuing to go well for you and yours. :)

    Hi possession and welcome! It IS great to have that, although I have to be careful re my sister because she is a bit of a gossip, but. Noone from our “real life” except Megan knows about our blog, because I think it would really hamper how we write. (Well, Chantal does, but we met her here!)


    Comment by Amy — November 16, 2009 @ 8:36 am

  9. Of course I totally agree that titles don’t matter, consenting adults should do as they please, and all that other open-minded stuff. However I also realize that public opinions and first impressions matter. Unless you’re a hermit then eventually you’ll run into other people, sometimes people that you may need to do business with. In those cases, acting like a freak is usually not a good thing. I’m certainly all about the kink but I also don’t think vanilla is a bad word. And sometimes, yes, some people have a difficult time with the terms Daddy and Little Girl. So I totally understand your dilemma.

    I’m fine with the title Daddy. To me it’s the equivalent of Dominant or Master but with a more caring, not so extreme connotation. It’s only when combined with Little Girl that the age thing is implied. That’s probably why I’ve always found myself using the title Princess.

    To me, Princess has two meanings. First is a young girl of extreme importance and beauty that deserves everything good the world has to offer. Second is of a young girl that is spoiled rotten, totally dependent on others and often in need of a good spanking. Basically, everything that Little Girl implies to others but without the age play overtones.

    To each his own. That’s great if Daddy and Little Girl are working for you. Who knows, it sounds like Richard might be enjoying the fact that you’re a bit uncomfortable with the Little Girl title.

    Comment by Andy — November 16, 2009 @ 11:14 am

  10. I love that you have such an open and honest relationship with your sister and her husband.

    A very clever piece of writing as well. I’d read your give-away post and still didn’t guess the ending :)

    Comment by Taryn — March 4, 2010 @ 7:06 am

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