Pictures and stories from of a real life 24.7 D/s couple. Richard and Amy explore bdsm, daily life, and each other, from both sides of the relationship.

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July 15, 2008

The Request

Filed under: D/s, BDSM, Daily Life — Richard @ 7:46 am


Amy had a request for me yesterday; she wanted to be spanked.

There are two things Amy doesn’t do.  Make requests, and long for spankings.

So when she mixed them both together yesterday, it gave me pause for thought. As it turns out, I probably got it wrong.

I know she has made a post about it, but I want to write this before I read what she has to say about the whole thing.

My first thought was, that I hadn’t been giving her enough attention.  She was happy to have all the attention I could give her yesterday, and I wondered if I had been remiss.  And I know that she likes to be reminded of her submission as well, and I thought that I had not been letting her feel that enough lately.

Mind you, I had none of these thoughts until she asked; only then did I begin to reflect on what she was asking.

I considered that she was likely feeling a need for attention, and a need to submit, and a need to feel herself physically doing something she didn’t want to.  The idea that she might be volunteering to submit to something she didn’t like because she thought I might want to do it, but wasn’t pursuing that course of action didn’t occur to me, although it probably should have.  Just way too complicated for my brain.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, weighty stuff like the nature of art, the meaning of life, where does one find meaning in a post modern world; the usual sort of stuff that tends to lead a person into abstract thought, and a bit out of the present.  It occurred to me I had been doing too much of that.

I decided then that an extended flogging might work better to meet her needs than a simple spanking.  It lasts longer, and doesn’t have any punishment overtones for us.  I didn’t think she needed to feel punished.  Amy usually doesn’t feel the need to be punished, and occasionally points out to me what a good girl she is, and how she specifically doesn’t need whatever punishment I am proposing for her at the time.

In the past flogging has generally bored me.  But I’ve never really done it in a relationship even similar to what Amy and I have, so I thought this might be fun.  I downloaded some music from iTunes that she wouldn’t know, blindfolded her, and began.

It felt awkward in a way, more like a “scene” rather then something that flowed organically out of our natural interactions; but still fun.   I mixed up rhythms, landing zones, patterns, but nothing shocking or out of the ordinary, or not shocking at least if you accept the idea of a flogging as being a fairly mainstream activity.

I did blindfold her, because it makes her feel more dependent, and I kept touch with her through a hand on her leg or ankle.

I enjoyed the rhythm myself, the exploration of how she reacted to my touch, and the touch of the flogger. I wanted to be sure she felt submissive, and the focus of my attention.

I kept it short, the whole thing lasted around an hour or so, and I felt quite mentally and emotionally satisfied by it when we finished - it’s not an avenue of expression I usually seek, but I’m thinking it’s a good one for exploring further.  Never hurts to have extra ways to explore your relationship.

Well, it doesn’t hurt me, anyways.

The flogging also helped kick off a series of discussions between Amy and I, which have been very, very helpful to me.  More on those in posts to come!

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